If there's one complaint I have about the Craftsman style, it's that it's not tall enough. As even Starbucks knows, "tall" is just the starting point and things ought to get taller from there. Here, someone finally makes a bungalow tall enough. We're talking tall. I mean, someone put some Shaq in their shack. Many improvements have been made upon the old school craftsmanship of the arts & crafts style. Let's start with these factory-made aluminum windows. What the hell kinda craftsman can churn out 500 windows an hour like a Chinese schoolgirl? None. That's who. Besides, who wants to dust a house full of carved wood? It's like living amongst your Grandpa's scrimshaw collection. This is the 21st century; thank god someone knows what that means. Wood is so yesterday. Wrought iron is the way to go - every chance you get. But why so tall? For the children. How do I know there are children? Simple. You know those optical illusions in kids' magazines? You loved them once. This house has them built in for the dozens of children that must live here. Look at those second-story windows. Is the arrangement of those windows symmetrical? Just barely not. Fooled you, didn't they? Endless hours of game-playing joy for the kids. Good times. Now, go relax with the family and a pitcher of iced tea on the third story sundeck - the ideal vantage point from which the kids can egg the neighbor's house. Go ahead, live a little. You can't offend them more.
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